Tasha Tells All

Little Miss No-vote made perhaps the worst mistake she could have made.  Instead of continuing to engage me directly she called my sister…as if my sister can make me stop. She pretty much guaranteed that I will continue to shame her for life with that one little phone call.

My sister ended up sending me this message:

dont be a bitch to ppl you dont know very well. its even more ignorant to freak out over
someones stupid myspace bulletin..

So, at this point I’m just having fun so there is no way I’m going to stop the argument.  Here is my response to my sister’s appeal to not be a b****.

Next time you write me, please feel free to use capital letters and punctuation. (Commas
and apostrophes are our friends)

Regarding (the girl):
1. She puts stupid shiz out there for people to read and she should expect a reaction.
2. Was she unable to come up with a response on her own? Is that why you have to fight
this battle for her? Sad.:(

Your use of the word “bitch” is disappointing. Ad hominem attacks are the last refuge of the
desperate. It says you don’t have a good argument. I expect more from you.

Also, for the record, I didn’t freak out, I just told your friend to keep her stupid opinion to
herself…unless she’s willing to back it up with a good argument and get off her a** and
vote.

If you talk to ****** again, tell her I will buy that book for her.

Love,
Tasha

After this exchange, my sister gracefully bowed out of the argument and agreed that the girl’s post, over which this argument began, was “idiotic”.

I went on to write one more note to the girl who started it all.  Here it is, in its entirety.

Its obvious to me that at this point you are either unwilling or unable to defend your comments any further so I will grant a reprieve.

All I ask is this: in the future, think before you post. You are far too old to be making comments like the ones that got us into this argument. At this point in your life you are more than capable of researching issues and making a decision. You chose not to and then you took it a step further by reveling in your ignorance on the internet. Its not cute and its not cool.

In two years, if you choose to shirk your civic responsibility again I hope you will keep that and your opinions on the election to yourself.

If, however, you choose to to vote, I look forward to hearing your opinions…even if they differ from my own.

Have a lovely weekend.
Good luck with that book.
Tasha

I win.

So, after reading my response to her idiocy and seeing that I posted her bulletin on my blog, little miss no-vote chose to respond with the following.

tasha i chose not to vote because i didnt know enough about politics to make an accurate
decision. my bulletin didnt affect anyone so i dont see why it is that your freaking out and
making an example of me on your myspace when you have totally misconstrued it. i wasnt
even being political if you really read it. it was about me saying i dont understand the
election and i find it hard to make a decision when they both have good ideas. the cloning
part was just me mentioning my favorite presidents because i think they did an amazing
job when they were in office. then i made a joke.. i never said they would have the same
views as me.

you calling me ignorant because you dont understand me is ridiculous. but if thats how you
feel then perhaps you could recommend that book.

I love it.  Here’s my response.

1. Please start using punctuation.
2. You say you don’t know enough about politics to make an accurate decision but you still
know enough, apparently, to tell the rest of us to vote no on 8 as well as categorize yourself
as anti-war, pro-abortion, and pro-gay marriage.
3. I didn’t freak out. I called you out. If you don’t vote, you don’t get to say anything.
4. I didn’t misconstrue anything. If you look carefully you’ll see that I quoted your entire
bulletin directly.
5. The bulletin was very political.
6. Of course both candidates have good ideas. Our job as voters is to decide who’s ideas we
would rather live with for 4 years.
7. It’s not that I don’t understand you, it’s that I do understand you, and people like you
too well.

Here’s that book recommendation: U. S. History and Government by John McGeehan,
Morris Gall

Thank you for not voting this time.
Good luck in two years.
Tasha

Recently, I was hanging out on myspace and I saw the following post.

Subject: even tho i dont vote… is it possible…

Body:
“to vote for like a tie and they can both be president that way my mommy doesnt have to pay higher taxes for the lazy ass poor jobless people and i still get to have my dream of a black president.. even though i was he was a jew and a woman but thats besided the point. plus i’m anti war and pro abortion and gay marriage but still… why did the candidates have to suck this year… hopefully in 4 years we will have better options.. can we clone lincoln or jefferson or kennedy or fdr?… what ever happened to the kennedys anyway?

“no on 8.

“and prepare yourselves for bad tv tonight.”

After reading that post, I couldn’t help feeling slightly stupider.  I knew it was my duty as an American to make that girl regret the moment she decide to post that stupid shiz on the internets.  So I replied.

You don’t vote and you have to audacity to say this. And then to say shame on people for
voting yes on 8. You can only shame people if you stepped up and voted too.

People like you are the reason Prop 8 passed, but you don’t get to complain since you
didn’t get off your a** and vote.

PS. You ignorance is astounding. If you plan on voting in two years please read a book.

Honestly people, she deserved it.  She doesn’t vote, she doesn’t understand basic concepts of punctuation, characterizes the unemployed as “lazy ass poor jobless people” and is stupid enough to think that Lincoln, Jefferson, Kennedy and FDR would be anti-war, pro-abortion, and pro gay marriage.

John McCain’s running mate is…

Barack Obama loves to touch…

Mitt Romney wears funny underwears.

Dick Cheney will never die because…

John Edwards is totally scandalous and no longer sexy.

Dedicated to Lori B. 

Today was a day like any other.  I woke up late as I’d been up late the evening before.  It had been a long night of wearing black and looking sad.  I planned on doing the same thing again tonight.

When I emerged from my room (after applying my super white make-up and dark eye-liner/black lipstick) I went downstairs to see what we had to eat.  I ran into my Grandmother in the kitchen.  She was baking zucchini bread and reading her Satanic Bible…as she does every day.  My sweet grammy greeted me with a, “Good morning dear, Satan be with you.”  To which I replied, “And also with you, Gramma.”

Little did I know, that would be the last time I would ever speak to my dear sweet grammy.  While I was out that day, running satanic errands and such, my grandmother met her maker.

Her passing was sad but it just goes to show I was right when I said, “Life is misery–everything sucks–and then you die.”

On the plus side, my dead gramma helped me perfect my sad face.

…is officially Christy Cox day.  Consider this a national holiday, people.  Take the day off.

The banks will be closed.

It had happened again.  I had stayed at my mother’s house longer than I had intended and I was losing my high.  I mean, I was coming down fast.

So I retired to the guest bathroom to do some blow.  Whilst in said restroom readying my drug paraphenilia my mother came to the door.  She said, “Honey, are you dropping a deuce in there? Don’t forget to use the matches.”

“No, Ma! Leave me alone.” I replied.

Mom came back about 5 minutes later and again reminded me to use the matches.  But this time she scared me so bad I dropped all my blow into the toilet bowl.  Normally, I wouldn’t let that kind of thing stop me, but as I was at my mother’s house I realized there was plenty to steal and she would never turn me in…being my mother and all.

I stole the TV and her wedding ring and enjoyed the best high of my life from the cocaine I bought with the proceeds.

I love my co-dependent mother. And she loves me.

I realized as of late that there are certain people groups that do not have a Chicken Soup for their souls.  I am dedicated to the cause of making it happen.  The following is my first effort.

My wife and I had been married for 4 years when I prayed and recieved a word from the Lord that I ought to take on a second wife.  I was greatly troubled by this revelation and prayed over it for many nights.

How could I keep two wives happy?  I have enough trouble trying to keep one wife happy.

One night as I was praying and pondering this very issue I realized, I’m a creepy guy with control issues. I thought I would die a virgin. Now all I have to do to sleep with all the hot (hot by polygamist standards) chicks I want is convince them that we are spiritually married and this is God’s will for us.

Who cares if the women are happy?

Hello friends,

It’s me again.  I’ve been struggling with the writer’s block for many weeks now but yesterday, after having the best day ever, I was once again inspired to write.  I have several stories in the works but first things first.  It’s well past time to name the Douchebag of the Month for July.

Drum roll.

The Douchebag of the Month for July 2008 is me.  It was pointed out to me yesterday that I, Tasha Tells All, called a man of God (James Dobson) a name (douchebag).  My friend also pointed out to me that there is plenty of scriptural precedence for not touching God’s annointed (1 Samuel 24: 3-7) as well as pointing out that I probably do not want to be mauled by bears (2 Kings 2: 23-24).

I still strongly disagree with James Dobson’s actions but I went too far when I called him the Douchebag of the Month.  Henceforth, I shall do my utmost to argue my point without benefit of name calling.

I only hope that James Dobson sees this post before he sees the other one and calls bears out to eat me.  (Please, James Dobson, I’ve seen the error of my ways and I very sincerely apologize for the name calling but not for disagreeing with you.  Don’t let the bears maul me!)

Hey Jason,

This is what you get for letting me use you computer.  Now my blog will always be your homepage…for always and eternity.  Bwahahahahahaha!

Enjoy the new baby your hot wife is probably going to birth some time this week.

Tasha

Update:

Jason’s hot wife did indeed birth their hot baby this week.  Monday, July 14, 2008 at 7:30.  Sadly, Jason did not use any of the names I suggested (Clementine, Saphyra, Mildred) and chose instead to name her Madasyn.

Oh well, there are plenty of other prego peeps out there.  One of them is bound to let me name their baby–preferably their first born.