Tasha Tells All

Dear Rudy G.,
I don’t want to say I told you so…but I totally did.  Enjoy dropping out and endorsing John McCain. 
Think of it this way: now you can spend more time with your 3rd wife wispering sweetly about 9-11 in her ear.
Sincerely,
Tasha

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Dear John Edward’s Hair,
Thanks for taking my advice and convincing your head to drop out of the race.  I really appreciate it.
Now you can start your career in hair modeling.
 Sincerely,
Tasha
 PS. Stay sexy.

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I just got some stunningly good news.  The best news ever…almost.  There’s the Gospel, there’s me getting in to Vanguard at the last minute, and there is this news.
 More on Sunday!

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Oh, John Edward’s hair, you are so thick and lucious.  I wish I could run my fingers through you. 
You are hair of the people. When I think of your blue collar upbringing and spectacular rise to $500 coif I am proud to be an American.  It could not have been easy growing up as you […]

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Hey everybody,
I just found out that I = poor.  Seriously, I live below the poverty line. 
This is just like the time I found out Santa Clause doesn’t really exist…except for in the hearts and minds children all over the world.
 Now that I know I’m poor things should get better, right?  Because admitting there is a […]

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Dear Rudy G.
How’s that big state strategy going for you?
You can tell me. I promise I’ll only tell two or three other people.
Sincerely,
Tasha

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Dear Fred Thompson,
Thank you for dropping your charisma free bid for the Whitehouse. I know you’re probably disappointed right now so I have some suggestions for how to take you mind off it.
1. Listen to some hip-hop.  That’ll keep you good and distracted.  Just try not to break your hip-hop.  At your age it’s a […]

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Dear Congressman Duncan Hunter,
Thank you for dropping out of the presidential race.  I was tired of you…you probably knew that from the letters I sent. 
All the best,
Tasha
 PS. Can I have my $25 back?  Since your not going to use it I mean, $25 could really help me out…I’m just sayin’. 

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Here’s something you might not know: textbooks = expensive. 
 
And why wouldn’t they be?  We can only get them in a timely manner from the school book store and the textbook corporations know it.  In capitalist systems we call it a “monopoly”.  The corporation charges ungodly amounts of money for their goods and we have to pay […]

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The committee has met to discuss the pronouncement of Douchebag of the Year 2007.  Although there were many deserving candidates we narrowed it down to six people.
5th Runner Up
The guy who parked in two spaces at a very crowded mall. You know who you are.
4th Runner Up
“Luis”. I went out with this guy once. We […]

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