Tasha Tells All

Dearest, Loveliest, President George W. Bush,
I could really use that $600 from the economic stimulus package.  I promise that if you send it to me I will personally stimulate the economy with it.
Love,
Tasha
PS Keep up the good work.

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I recently learned from carringtonsteele.com that housewives across America are cult members. The cult is led by none other than Oprah Winfrey.
So I have written an open letter to your friend and mine, Oprah.
Dear Oprah,
I recently found out that you are leading a pretty large cult. Sadly, I had to find this out […]

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Last Wednesday was Intergalactic Hug a Prostitute Day. I decided, as a citizen of earth, that I could, at least for one day this light-year, unite with “people” galaxy wide in this effort.
Wednesday morning, I woke bright and early knowing I would need to hug at least one prostitute that day…so I packed my […]

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Hey everyone,
I know it’s early to announce the honors for this month but someone was sufficiently douchebaggy to have earned an early announcement.
 The Douchebag of the Month is….
the financial aid department with special mention of Ryan Dowell, my financial aid counselor.
Here’s why: Every time I walked through the door I was greeted with a look of disdain.  […]

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Warren Jeffs is a ___________________.
Warren Jeffs can go __________________.
Feel free to fill in the blanks.

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I was texting my mother this morning. She asked me if I found the paperwork I need for financial aid.  I told her that, yes, I had found my paperwork and I was going to shove it up the rude kid’s be-hind. (The kid behind the counter at Financial Aid was rude to me yesterday, […]

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The following is a list of things I would do to get the financial aid department to release my funds.
1. Wrestle a bear.
2. Cut off any body part and give it to Murray Dempster in a jar, on a platter, or as part of a necklace.
3.  Shave my head and wear tragic Britney Spears style […]

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Dear Financial Aid,
You could have bought me dinner first.
Love,
Tasha

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Two things:
1. I saw my father today.  He was pretty sober and he only cried a little.
2. I started a pretty heavy-duty diet today.  I’m saying no to cupcakes, bunt cakes, coffee cakes…all kinds of cakes really.  I’m saying “yes” to carrot sticks and other such things even though I find them semi-detestable and generally […]

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