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Pet Peeve (Sorry Mom)

Tasha Tells All

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Pet Peeve (Sorry Mom)

October 2nd, 2006 · 53 Comments

Disclaimer: Mom, if you ever read this, I’m sorry. I exaggerated at your expense. I feel aweful about it. Oh, and I’m sorry I never call.

 

2nd Disclaimer:  And here it is: Normally I abhor violence. In fact, I fancy myself a passivist but when I hear the phrase, “Oh my word” it makes me want to punch someone in the neck.  Is it still a pet peeve if it sends you into a fit of violence and questionable language? I’m not sure but here goes.

 

My mom says, “Oh my word” with such frequency that I almost won’t go to her house for the free food and laundry privileges anymore…almost.  Every time I tell her a story it’s “Oh my word”.  Mom, I think I have a hang-nail.  “Oh my word”.  Mom, Dad won’t take my calls. I don’t think he loves me anymore. “Oh my word”.  Mom, I was so bored in class I briefly considered dropping out of school and joining the circus. “Oh my word. Do you want me to call the school and complain?” 

 

Maybe it’s not just the frequency that bothers me though.  Maybe it’s the fact that she says it with such enthusiasm.  She puts an emphasis on “word” so that it’s not just “Oh my word” anymore.  It’s “Oh my wooord”.  She makes it sound as if every story that comes out of my mouth is the most interesting story she’s ever heard…and that’s a dirty lie.  A dirty communist lie I tell ya! I have come back to school to tell some of the same stories to my friends only to find that they do not care and it’s not as funny, tragic, irritating, or moving as I thought it was.  I wouldn’t have thought my stories were so great if it weren’t for my mom’s reaction.  She’s giving me a false sense of security.  How am I supposed to survive in the real world?  It’s not fair mom.  It’s not fair!

 

Now, don’t think I’m just here to complain.  I’ve actually tried to do something about this.  One day, I sat my mom down and said, “Mother”…cause I always call her Mother when I want her to take me seriously. Anyway, I sat her down and I said, ” Mother…Mother, Mom, pay no attention to what the dog is doing outside. Look at me. Right here.  Okay, thank you.  Mother, I think you should stop saying ‘oh my word’.  I know you say it because you don’t want to take the Lord’s name in vain but in John 1:1 it says, and I quote, ‘In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God.’  So you’re still taking the Lord’s name in vain.”  5 minutes later my sister was in the kitchen telling my mom something about school and band and some kid that bugs her…something like that.  (All my sister’s stories sound the same to me so I couldn’t really tell you what she was talking about)  And I heard my mom exclaim, “Oh my word!” Why don’t you just tell God you don’t care? 

In my own defense I really thought my Bible argument would work. My mom and God are pretty close so I figured…you know, she won’t want to offend him and whatnot. Apparently though she saw through my thin argument or she’s just a horrible sinner but either way it’s okay.  I have a new plan.  It involves a campaign to classify the phrase “Oh my word” as hate speech.  I know what you’re all thinking right now.  Hate speech against who Natasha?  Hate speech against who? Its hate speech against me people.

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