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4th of July is for Patriots

Tasha Tells All

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4th of July is for Patriots

July 9th, 2007 · 43 Comments

Beloved readers and other such folks. Another 4th of July has come and gone.  I, for one, had a fabulous holiday. I spent it on the beach with 10,000 of my closest friends.We frolicked and played in the sun. We got sunburned. Two of us got stung by a jelly fish.

What happened was, Robby and I were playing in the surf, minding our own business, loving America, and whatnot.  So just as I was saying to Robby how much I appreciated George Bush and Congress and the Supreme Court I felt a burning sensation on my leg.  Robby felt the same sensation on his wrist.  Well it didn’t take us long to realize we had been attacked by a terrible jelly fish.  It was totally out to get us.

Not wanting to be drowned by that frightful beast we made a hasty retreat back to our towels on the beach.  Also, we were seeking sympathy, but sadly beloved readers, we did not get it.  Fatty was completely apathetic to our plight. She wouldn’t pee on our wounds or anything.  So Robby and I were forced to tend to our own wounds and feel sorry for ourselves.

We were not quite 100% better but I knew that we had to get back in the water.  “If we don’t get back in the water, the jelly fish wins,” I explained to Robby.  We did get back in and that makes us the winners. No hateful jelly fish is going to keep us from enjoying the most patriotic of holidays.  No sir.

Now that I’ve had a few days to think about it I’m pretty sure that was an Al Qaida type jelly fish. I’m pretty sure it was out patroling the water for people who love liberty. I’m almost positive that right before I got stung I heard someone cry out “Death to America”.

Don’t worry faithful readers, I’ve already called the War on Terror to inform them.  They should have him listed on their most wanted list under “Alzarjelly bin Fish”. That jelly fish should go back to its cave in Afghanistan before the War on Terror finds it.  If its not careful it will end up in Guantanamo Bay classified as an enemy combatant. And that’s exactly where it should end up.

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