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Oprah’s Culty Goodness

Tasha Tells All

I don

Tasha Tells All header image 2

Oprah’s Culty Goodness

April 21st, 2008 · 54 Comments

I recently learned from carringtonsteele.com that housewives across America are cult members. The cult is led by none other than Oprah Winfrey.

So I have written an open letter to your friend and mine, Oprah.

Dear Oprah,

I recently found out that you are leading a pretty large cult. Sadly, I had to find this out on the internets. On the internets, Oprah!

All I’m saying is this: if you were running an effective cult I would have found out from you not from the internets. Maybe you should cult it up a bit so its a bit more obvious. I have a few suggestions.

1. Serve Kool-aid at every meeting

2. Sacrifice a goat.

3. Start talking about the apocalypse.

4. Pronounce “Oprah’s Book Club” a sacrament.

5. Start wearing a priests collar.

6. Declare that followers of Oprah should visit Harpo Studios at least once in their lifetime.

7. Write a book.  Tell everyone it’s your “revelation” about how life should be lived.

8. Tell “true believers” they should go to Africa to work at the leadership academy as service to Oprah.

That’s all I have so far.  So, maybe you could think about these suggestions and get back to me.

Thanks for the great day-time programming, Oprah.

All the best,

Tasha

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