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Summer…and Other Such Nonsense

Tasha Tells All

I don

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Summer…and Other Such Nonsense

June 29th, 2006 · 66 Comments

Ah summer. That magical time between Spring and Fall when school children around the world run amuck with a smile on their faces and song in their hearts.  These are months of merrymaking and excitement…well, for some of us.I must say that I’m wholly disappointed this year.  I had a whole list of good clean activities I was going to engage in and I do believe I’ve only accomplished about one of them.  Yes, only one.

Among other things, I was going to stick it to the man at least twice, call the President every day until he finally took my call so I could give him my highly informed opinion on all sorts of goings on in the world, take up painting and create a masterpiece, and finally, I was going to write my manuscript by the light of a lonely oil lamp.

All I’ve really accomplished from that list is the creation of a masterpiece.  You see, I did take up painting, and it was a beautiful thing.  I have completed one work and I am currently working on another.  But this is not enough.  When I said I was going to take up painting, I meant I was going to get as good and be as famous as Vincent Van Gogh by the end of summer.  That simply does not seem to be happening.

As far a sticking it to the man, I’ve tried several times but I always seem to be thwarted.  For instance, I had decided not to buy any more gas until prices came down but alas, my car stopped working all together.  It simply refused to run without gasoline.  Filthy corporations!!!

I called the Whitehouse a few times but after about a week of that, the Secret Service showed up at my house and transported me to Guantanamo Bay. I tried to tell them I just wanted to talk to the President about some highly personal matters but they didn’t believe me.  I can’t give you any details on how I escaped my captors on that cursed island but I can say that it involved a bar of soap, three cans of Pepsi, four Cuban men, one Cuban woman, a makeshift raft, and in the end, I had to give ‘em fatty. (Let me just say that because of the Supreme Court ruling, Fatty will be released from Guantanamo Bay…after a short military tribunal.  I’m sure she’ll be fine.)

Well, I guess this is as close as I’m going to come to writing my manuscript by the light of a lonely oil lamp.  This is almost as good, writing a myspace blog, in my cluttered office, under flourescent lighting.  Yes, I’m sure this is equally as satisfying as writing a novel and winning a Pulitzer.

Ah summer, will you never cease to disappoint me?

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